It’s now 10 months and 1 week since I started taking testosterone and here’s what’s happened since my last update:
Body and facial hair: Steadily increasing. I’ve started to get my first chest hairs and I’m shaving my face every 2-3 days. Unfortunately, I’ve only got patchy facial hair on the underside of my chin so I can’t grow any moustache or beard worth the name yet.
Skin: A bit more acne but nothing like I feared would happen. Could be because I have a good anti-acne facial cleanser I use twice a day.
Muscle mass: No difference that I can see. But then I also don’t work out much so that’s probably why.
Voice: Getting darker and darker. Definitely got that pubescent boy voice now.
Hunger: Not much of a difference. Other guys told me I would be hungry all the time on T but that hasn’t happened.
Sex drive: Definitely stronger but nothing too distracting.
Energy levels and mental changes: My energy levels increased around the time I went from half a sachet to a sachet of Testogel a day. But if I remember correctly it was also around that time I started taking a higher dosage of ADHD meds so that could be why. Or maybe a mixture of both.
The mental changes are what have changed my life the most, even more so than the physical ones. I have way more of a drive to do and achieve things. My confidence is like it’s never been before, I’m more self-reliant and don’t obsess over what people think of me anymore. Pre-T, I never thought I would one day be so mentally stabile and happy.
While we’re on the topic of change: a big one might be coming my way soon. On the 24th I have an appointment at the gender clinic to get this certificate I need to change my legal gender. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time. Finally, I’ll be able to live as just another guy, without having to out myself every time I need to show my ID. It will also allow me to start looking for a new job without worrying about whether my new boss will continually misgender me like my current one is.
The form I will have to fill also asks if I want any bottom surgery, which isn’t allowed until you have legally changed sex. I definitely want a hysterectomy and an oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries and fallopian tubes) but other than that I like what I have and plan on keeping it.
Although, sometimes I think maybe I should have a simple phalloplasty without urethra lengthening or vaginectomy. I like men and gay men like dick so I think it would help me find someone.
Now a lot of people would say: “But it shouldn’t matter! True love is unconditional!”
To that I say: Balderdash. Sexual attraction and romantic love are just about the two most conditional and discriminatory things in the universe. Not that they shouldn’t be.
But I don’t think I want a penis so bad that I’ll be willing to put myself through having phalloplasty. Maybe I’ll change my mind in the future. Right now I’m hoping more on advances in the development of prosthetics. Scientists have already created synthetic skin you can feel like it was your own so it isn’t inconceivable that a few years from now there could realistic looking penile prostethics you can feel like it was a part of your body.
When it happens I will definitely get myself one and I WILL name it RoboCock, because how could I not?
Another great change that has happened is that I finally had an appointment at the endocrinologist, so I will no longer need to pay lots of money to get hormones prescribed in another country. I will also switch from Testogel to injections so I won’t have to worry about making sure not to sweat, cross-contamination and all the other hassle that comes with the gel.
I’ll probably write another update around the 7th of November, when I’ll be one year on T.