Goals for 2017!

I’m someone who believes in having a plan. I believe it makes it easier to reach one’s goals in life and encourages one to muster the self-discipline required to always keep working towards new ones. So before every new year I make a clear, easy-to-check list of things I want to do/achieve in the coming year.

I have now finished my 2017 to-do-list and here it is:


Have top surgery!

After healing from top surgery, get back to the gym and make some GAINS!

Get a haircut at a real barber shop

Go to the beach and swim with my shirt off

Walk in the 2017 Pride parade with my shirt off

Run in the summer rain with my shirt off

Get my own apartment. (Nearly impossible with the current housing shortage but a guy can always hope :/ )

(If I get my own apartment) Adopt an animal from a shelter

Find a boyfriend

Apply to school program to become a web developer and, if I get in, start my education

Learn as much HTML and other programming languages as I can before starting school

Reach 1000 followers on Twitter

If I reach 1000 followers on Twitter, start an author Facebook page

Finish writing part 2 of The Sorcerer’s Sword and publish it

Get a traditional shaving kit that is also vegan (will definitely blog about that!)

Start my secret blogging project 😉

Visit the US for the first time

Get my DNA tested for ancestry and genetic information such as predisposition for certain illnesses

Continue to be involved in the resistance movement against the fascist orange Cheeto

See Star Wars episode VIII in December!


I will be blogging about many of the things on this list so stay tuned!



Joining the Resistance and writing as rebellion

I have begun to fear the return of something I had thought was history: theocratic Christianity  influencing the politics of the US at the highest level. With Christian fanatics such as, just to name a few, Mike Pence (who believes creationism should be taught in schools), Rick Perry (a climate science denier and overall enemy of women’s and LGBTQ-rights) and Betsy DeVos (who has donated millions to religious groups who promote torture-like “treatments” against homosexuality) in Trump’s cabinet one thing is clear: The next four years will see major setbacks when it comes to secularism and human rights in the US.

To be completely honest I did not see this coming. Both Trump and Hillary were awful options in their own ways and even as it became increasingly clear that Hillary was the obvious lesser of two evils and that a Trump cabinet would be filled with ignorant bigots, I did not think Christian extremists would be given so much power by Trump.

Part of it was that, let’s be honest here, Trump is by GOP standard probably one of the most gay-friendly candidates to ever run for president. The guy even held up a rainbow flag at one of his rallies once, something most Republican candidates would not have been caught dead doing.

But it seems the promise he made after the Pulse massacre to protect LGBTQ-people was just a load of hot air as he is now building up a cabinet made up largely of people who have done everything they can to take away their rights.

Then there was the whole “pussygate” scandal. One would assume conservative Christians would not want to work with a man who brags about adultery and molesting women. But it seems like some can see through the fingers with such behaviour if it gives them a chance to force their religion on the American people.

Being very familiar with Christian fundamentalists as I myself grew up as one, I know that LGBTQ-people are not their only enemies. Women, HIV-positive people, atheist and many other groups are now in even greater risk of having rights stripped away from them. Not that a Trump presidency would have been great for humans rights either way.

And now the Electoral College, the very last hope against the coming Trumpocalyps, has officially voted him in. There is no turning back: Donald Trump will be the next president of the world’s most powerful country.

In this situation it’s easy to feel despair. I myself have felt quite depressed in the last couple of days. I fear for what’s going to happen in the US and how it’s going to affect what happens in the rest of the world. I fear for the people who will be directly oppressed by the bigots who will now run the US and I fear for what it means for me as a transsexual, gay atheist that people who despise everything I am now have control of the most powerful country of the world I live in.

Everything can seem so hopeless also when you’re a regular Joe with no much power. I mean, how much can I do? I’m just a broke janitor who writes fiction in his spare time and has a very small audience.

But then I’ve been thinking: maybe it’s not about how much but about WHAT you do and the fact that you do it at all. Because if there’s something the oppressors in Trump cabinet want is for us to go silently, to shut the fuck up while they put us down. So let’s give them a fight for their money.

Do what you can no matter how small and insignificant it seems at the time. Donate to organisations dedicated to help the groups Trump and his minions want to oppress (I’ll put a list of links in the end of this post). Make your voice heard through social media or write to your local newspaper or express yourself through art. Write under the hashtag #TheResistance and help us tell the orange fascist Cheeto that the rebellion has only just begun.

Whatever you do: do not walk silently and without protest into the dark years coming.

As for me, I will participate in the Resistance doing what I do best: writing. I will write about the L and the G and the B and the T and the Q and about women who don’t submit to men like the bible says they should and about the poor and the weirdos and the outcasts and generally about the people the Christian Right wish would disappear from the earth. I will write stuff so queer it would give Mike Pence an aneurysm if he ever read it. I will write because I refuse to stay silent.

Here are organisations that will need financial help under the coming four years:

The Human Rights Campaign

The Trevor Project

American Atheists

Aids United

Planned Parenthood

National Network for Immigrant and refugee rights

A very uneventful 1 month on T + no top surgery this year 

Before every new year starts I write a list of things I want to do in the coming year. I do this to remind myself what I have to look forward to and what goals I want to continue working towards. When in the end of 2015 I made such a list for 2016, the very first thing I wrote down was Getting top surgery.  Because then I really thought I would get it in 2016.

But it turns out I was once again underestimating how slow my country’s trans healthcare is.

I called the plastic surgery clinic today and learned that I will not get top surgery until next year in January or February. I’m trying to not get my hopes up too much that it will happen when they say. It wouldn’t surprise me if it turns out my surgery will not happen until March or even later. But at least it’s getting closer. 

One thing I wrote on my 2016 To-do-list that did happen was Starting T. And tomorrow I will be 1 month on testosterone!  

Nothing much as happened since my two weeks update. My libido and, unfortunately, my energy levels have even gone back to what they were pre-t. My voice hasn’t changed. My muscle tone and body hair are exactly what they were before. There has been no additional downstairs growth since my last post.

I’m on only half a sachet of 50 mg testogel a day so maybe that’s why I haven’t really seen much difference. Or maybe I’m expecting too much after just 1 month on T. Either way I’ll ask the doctor when I can start taking the regular dose of 1 sachet a day next time I’ll email her to renew my prescription. 

So things are moving slowly but at least forward. I might feel a little bit frustrated right now but still quite optimistic about 2017.