Two weeks on T! 

TMI/trigger warning: mention of downstairs stuff 

I have now been two weeks on testosterone and here are some changes I have noticed this week.

Higher libido

Definitely higher libido. To the point where it’s kind of distracting and quite frustrating

Beginning of voice changes?

I have been experiencing this strange feeling in my throat for some days now. It feels itchy and tight but not the same way as when you have a cough or a sore throat. It’s kind of hard to describe and I’ve never felt something like this before. Could this be the start of voice changes? I don’t know but let’s hope so.

Energy levels and workout performance 

My energy levels have steadily gone up since I’ve started T and it’s a welcome change after having struggled with fatigue for the last two months. I’ve even started exercising regularly again. And I’ve noticed sometime interesting: when I have exercised these past two weeks I have been able to push myself further and for longer than before. Workout that would have left me exhausted before are now not even making me tired.

Downstairs growth 

Barely noticeable but it’s there. It seems to have grown more in girth than in length.


Not much else has happened but I’ve learned something in the past week: testosterone gel is pretty inconvenient and I will probably go on injections when I get the chance.

What bothers me is not having to take it everyday. After a couple of days it becomes just another part of your routine, like brushing your teeth. Rather it’s, on one hand, having to constantly worry about contamination. I’ve caught myself doing things while wearing short sleeves like giving someone a hug or carrying my cat on my shoulders only to suddenly remember that I might contaminate them. It really limits how much physical contact you can have with others for a least 6-7 hours after having put on the gel.

The other thing is that it limits what you can do during large parts of the day. As you can’t sweat or get wet for 6-7 hours, you can’t exercise or go swimming for all that time. As I love working out and am looking forward to go to the beach after my top surgery, I’d rather not have that to worry about.


One week on T!

Today I have been exactly one week and one day on testosterone. It has been quite an interesting week and here are the changes I’ve noticed so far:


The physical part is where I have noticed the fewest changes so let’s start there. What I’ve noticed is… nothing. 

This week has been very disappointing when it comes to my body dysphoria because literally nothing has changed for me physically. Maybe I’m just being impatient but I had hoped I would have seen at least a little bit of change these first days. Let’s hope the coming week will bring some of that.


Now this is where it gets interesting. While I haven’t noticed any physical changes yet I experienced a distinct emotional change already on the first to second day of being on T.

In all my life I can’t ever remember feeling so calm and collected. My mood usually goes up and down quite a bit and I feel a lot of anxiety and depression. But this week I’ve been feeling great and my mood has been very stable. 

I’ve also noticed I’m far less frustrated and angry. Maybe because I felt so much anxiety but I was always walking around with this feeling like I wanted to punch something. Now I don’t feel angry anymore and on the few occasions this week when I did get mad I calmed down just as quickly. 

This is quite a relief as one of my biggest fears with going on T was that it was going to make me aggresive. It turns out it did the exact opposite for me. Let’s hope it will continue that way. 

Is this real life? Is this just fantasy?

​I could barely believe my eyes today when I saw what was in the package I got in the mail. I have been waiting for this day for so long it felt surreal that it had actually arrived. 

But this is very real: I AM FINALLY ON TESTOSTERONE!!

Testogel (called Androgel in the US) is a gel you put on your skin on your shoulder or stomach. So there are no injections involved. 

I am currently on half a sachet (25mg) a day. From what I understand only about 10% of the gel is absorbed by the body so my actual dose is more around 2,5 mg a day. 

As I’ve only been on it for a couple of hours I obviously  haven’t noticed any changes yet. But I will be taking notes of anything I notice and update again in a week.

Finally my life as a man can really begin!

5 things you can do to help beat the winter blues

The winter time can be an emotionally draining time for those us who live in the north. The cold and the darkness left behind by a sun that does us the pleasure of visiting only a few hours a day can feel quite depressing.

Where I live, Scandinavia, the winter blues is a very well known phenomenon. The general mood drops during the cold season. Some even become severely depressed (something called seasonal affective disorder).

Luckily, there are some things you can do to help elevate your mood during these (literally) dark times. Here are five I have tried myself and found to be effective. But first:

A disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. These advice are based on personal experience and second-hand information. They are not supposed to substitute for actual medical advice. If you are experiencing major depressive symptoms, seek the help of a medical professional. 


1. Make some changes to your diet

One of the best things you can do for your health is to learn all you can about proper nutrition. What you eat becomes the building blocks of your body so your foods choices are of great importance. And when your body feels good it will have a positive impact on your mind.

Some general nutrition advice are: avoid empty carbs and white bread, instead choose whole grain. Avoid refined sugar like the ones found in cakes and candy. Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables. Make sure to drink enough water (about 2 liters a day).

When it comes to food that are good for the winter blues, look for food high in B6, B12, omega-3, tryptophan and vitamin D. Read more about what foods to eat here.

2. Meditate 

Meditation has been practiced for thousands of years and has been studied and shown to have a wide range of positive effects on health, from reduced stress to slower aging. But most of all it helps people find inner peace and face the challenges of life with a bit more “zen”.

I have suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life and I’ve found that few things help me better than meditation. During the dark and cold months of the year I appreciate meditation and the inner calm it brings even more.

This see a video beginner’s guide to meditation click here.

3. Invest in a light therapy lamp 

If you cannot get your needed daily dose of daylight naturally, why not try artificial daylight? Light therapy lamps mimic the light of the sun and are used as a treatment for winter depression. Sitting one to three hours a day in front of this type of lamp can help ease the feelings of fatigue and depression associated with the winter blues.

I have personally bought a light therapy lamp and noticed an improvement in my energy level and general mood. Read more about light therapy and how to choose a lamp here.

4. Exercise

This advice might be the hardest to follow. When you have the winter blues it can be hard to find the enthusiasm to do anything, let alone exercise. But physical activity has been proven to improve the symptoms of depression and improve general brain health. Exercising regularly is one of the best habits you can develop to take care of both body and mind.

Try exercising in the morning (preferably outside or near a window in the hours after the sun has gone up so that you can get some sunlight in the process). You will likely be left feeling refreshed and energized to go on with your day.

5. Travel to the sun 

If you have the possibility and can afford it, consider making a trip to a sunnier place. In addition to giving you some well-needed warmth and sunlight, taking a sunny vacation gives you a break from routine and the stress of everyday life.

I’ve had some of my most interesting and uplifting experiences while travelling. It is a great way to make memories for life.