Plastic Man: A poem about depersonalization

I’ve been experiencing kind of a writer’s block the last couple of days mainly due to anxiety, which  often sends me into a state of depersonalization.

If you don’t know what depersonalization is: it’s a feeling of unrealness, like if the world around you isn’t real and you’re not real. It’s basically a feeling of extreme emotional numbness.

It usually goes away for me after a while. I just need a couple of days to get out of it and then hopefully I’ll be able to continue working on my book again.

I did manage to get something down on paper. A poem about my experience with depersonalization. Here it goes:

 

Plastic Man 

Plastic man
On board game streets
I walk alone
And flash a smile
A plastic smile
At someone passing me by

The sigh is dull
Black and white
Like the photograph
Of days long past

My skin is cold
Smooth, icy
Rubber skin
That feels nothing

But still I smile
With a nod and a bow
At whoever demands

Social butterfly
Cirkus monkey
I am
Whatever they wish

I do my tricks
Follow the script
Don’t make a fuss

“Here’s a peanut,
Good monkey!”

But I am a man
A plastic man
With a rubber soul
Polymer veins

I bend every which way
Under their hands
And their demands

I am a rubber man
A plastic man
Cold and smooth
As you want me to be.

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